super safe D: nothing else

mr rogers is leaving..... i dont know what the fuck i'm going to do. to make matters worse, if he gets the job then he'll leave in two weeks. i cried-- at home. with him leaving, everythings going to change. and i liked the way things were. i dont want him to leave. hes like a father to me. i love him more than i love my dad.

cathy nikki and dalena want to join with fullerton. their our rivals. but i like them. their coach is pretty chill. but we're not oging to be close. its not going to be like family anymore. ITS NOT GOING TO BE THE SAME!

the reason why i loved rugby so much was because of the sport AND the closeness we have with everyone! oh my fucking. this really sucks. im going to miss it so badly. i wont be able to bear the fact that we all are seperating. but at least i spent a good 3 years of rugby with him. nice to know. might as well do it until it ends, right?? rugby is still going to be fun. but its just there. FRIENDS. no family. no bonding. i wont love them the same way i loved the old team. we grew as a team.... family. we went through so much together. we learned from eachother. and what nikki said to us at the banquet.

"Girls,

Our season has finally come to an end and with that said, I want to thank you all for giving me the chance to experience something as great as this. This team started at the very bottom, building up from nothing, and look where we've ended up… victorious. I want to thank you all for showing me what family is outside of family. We've sacrificed so much to be at the top. From the hour long practices, burmas, conditioning, long car rides, and etc… We've shown our dedication to the game. I know I've been somewhat impatient most of the time, but that's because I knew we were the best team out there and when we weren't performing like it, it frustrated me. There was, however, a good outcome to all of the drama…We've broken each other down to rebuild as one… one unit, one force, one family.

Most of you, I haven't really had the chance to become close to, but I know if we were given a little more time, it would've happened. All you girls have such strong personalities… it's amazing how we all click so well. So to conclude, I want to thank you all for the laughs, the memories, and most importantly the friendship.

No matter where our lives take us, you guys will always be a major part of me. You will always have that special place in my heart.

Lastly, I want to thank you guys for believing in me. I love you all."

-Nikki

DITTTO

i found it off cathys BLOGGG. the song "I'm not over" by Carolina Liar really applies to this situation. so perfect! im not over rugby yet! its just beginning to start. i feel that im going to be a very pissy person once this ends. all i have is field hockey and water polo. what the fuck is that going to do? HELP ME? no... its just a team. my passion for rugby is way different. its my main sport. if i could, i would make my life revolve around rugby. its my life. THINGS ARE NOT GOING TO BE THE SAME. no, my LIFE WONT BE THE SAME! this is not normal. i remember, once in the car with only cathy and i, he was saying that he'll never leave the rugby team. and how he cant do that because he cant let go of us. i guess that didnt apply to his dream career. what else would motivate me to play so hard, and with such heart.. without OUR coach being there? i dont want to know what the other girls are thinking. either if they are not at all.. or they are taking it way too hard. like me. this hit me like a freaken nuclear bomb. i cannot tolerate this. i want to find him a job here! HIS DREAM JOB in CALIFORNIA. perfect. but who knows?? there might be an opening. there might not be. chances are, there aren't. Now all of my plans for next year.. is gone. my great great great planS!

This team, this sport has made SUCH a huge impact in my heart. And i am so glad I joined because I'd be so lost without it. I love rugby

this sucks........... so bad.